There is nothing better than a neat and tidy beginning. I love it when months begin on a Monday - I feel they are the best days for clean slates!! Not that I intend to have any more.
I just thought I would state the damage of the scale.....12 stone 10.6lbs...or 178.6lbs...or 81kg. Far from great, but no worse than I anticpated! It can only go down from here.
I feel so rough this morning :( I think it is a mix of dehydration and those lovely carbs I had just before bed. Isn't weird how even though we know something will make us feel rotten we still do it?? Or it could just be me.
Todays plan consists of coursework...work...and a double whammy of body tone and aerobics tonight, bring it on! The day has started well, porridge with vanilla whey protein, yummy!! Now just need to focus on getting some work done, else I am in the shit tomorrow!
Monday, 1 March 2010
Sunday, 28 February 2010
Nothing has changed......
Five months on since my last post and nearly everything is exactly the same. I'm still not losing weight and it's getting dier! I have a bridemaid dress to get in and a continent to explore....neither of which I want to be fat for!!
Warning.....yet another resolve iminent.....
I have joined Weight Watchers online and shall weigh in tomorrow morning. I have 16 weeks to lose as much as I can before I go travelling around Europe, and considering I have booked into MIXED dorms, I really don't want to end up showing off my exagerated curves to so many male travellers. The girls I don't mind so much as I am sure I would be a good ego booster for them!
So, what happened? Well, in the beginnning of November I weighed in at just over 13 stone and still had time to take the slow appraoch and it was going well before Christmas, then I started to go too slow. I mantained in most of January and so far February has been the same.
When I started writing this in September I relieved myself of any deadline pressures but before Christmas I laid it on again with re-entering my triathlon. I blame the fresh start of New year looming in the air. Training was going well, but working on my foundation degree and generally not feeling like it has left me several trainign sessions behind. I knew I never should have done it because it is exactly the same time as my coursework and exam deadlines are in May! Silly, silly girl. All I have really wanted to do is get back to my resistance training workouts with bursts with cardio mixed in, like the good old days when I first became a gym-goer! With all this in mind, I will not be doing the triathlon. I'm not enjoying the training right now and I have enough stress with degree work without the added stress of a strict workout regime. So, with no other pressure than actually losing weight (an approach I had not thought of until now...doh!...I am the future!) I am refocused and ready.
The new plan is, in a nutshell, to lose as much as possible in the next 16 weeks, simples! The slightly more detailed plan looks like this:
So, here is hoping the scale is kind in the morning. Let the battle begin!!
Warning.....yet another resolve iminent.....
I have joined Weight Watchers online and shall weigh in tomorrow morning. I have 16 weeks to lose as much as I can before I go travelling around Europe, and considering I have booked into MIXED dorms, I really don't want to end up showing off my exagerated curves to so many male travellers. The girls I don't mind so much as I am sure I would be a good ego booster for them!
So, what happened? Well, in the beginnning of November I weighed in at just over 13 stone and still had time to take the slow appraoch and it was going well before Christmas, then I started to go too slow. I mantained in most of January and so far February has been the same.
When I started writing this in September I relieved myself of any deadline pressures but before Christmas I laid it on again with re-entering my triathlon. I blame the fresh start of New year looming in the air. Training was going well, but working on my foundation degree and generally not feeling like it has left me several trainign sessions behind. I knew I never should have done it because it is exactly the same time as my coursework and exam deadlines are in May! Silly, silly girl. All I have really wanted to do is get back to my resistance training workouts with bursts with cardio mixed in, like the good old days when I first became a gym-goer! With all this in mind, I will not be doing the triathlon. I'm not enjoying the training right now and I have enough stress with degree work without the added stress of a strict workout regime. So, with no other pressure than actually losing weight (an approach I had not thought of until now...doh!...I am the future!) I am refocused and ready.
The new plan is, in a nutshell, to lose as much as possible in the next 16 weeks, simples! The slightly more detailed plan looks like this:
- I only eat POINTS now....as long as I stick to the Weigth Watchers way of living my diet will be fine.
- Weight training with cardio 3 times a week
- Spinning once a week
So, here is hoping the scale is kind in the morning. Let the battle begin!!
Friday, 2 October 2009
Shame
This really is turning into a kind of confessional for me. Today has gone wrong, after resisting the urge to eat sweets I went and ate chocolate!! The daft thing is, where everyone sensible will avoid temptation at all cost I go looking for it!! I wander the chocolate and biscuit aisles pretending to be one of those average people who does NOT eat an entire packet in one sitting. Shame.
There is only one thing I can do, I need to get back to the gym. I need to re-acquaint myself with those gorgeous dumbbells. They are my friends and I do love them, it's myself I don't like. I hate the fact that I can't eat healthily and exercise separately. If that didn't make sense what I mean is unless I have been to the gym I struggle to eat properly, I'm a real all or nothing girl.
I sick of this attitude I have and the fact I am moaning all the time! Oh, I'm fat, oh, I'm unfit blah blah blah - it's my own fault! I look at thin women on TV and in the street and get excited because I know one day I will get there, but the way I am going I'm just making it harder for myself. It's almost as if thinking about it is good enough, which it isn't!! My weight effects me too much for me to mess about, tonight for example I have been invited out but I don't want to go and feel fat around all the lovely slim girls I will be surrounded by.
It's time to take life in a positive direction, and a lighter one!
There is only one thing I can do, I need to get back to the gym. I need to re-acquaint myself with those gorgeous dumbbells. They are my friends and I do love them, it's myself I don't like. I hate the fact that I can't eat healthily and exercise separately. If that didn't make sense what I mean is unless I have been to the gym I struggle to eat properly, I'm a real all or nothing girl.
I sick of this attitude I have and the fact I am moaning all the time! Oh, I'm fat, oh, I'm unfit blah blah blah - it's my own fault! I look at thin women on TV and in the street and get excited because I know one day I will get there, but the way I am going I'm just making it harder for myself. It's almost as if thinking about it is good enough, which it isn't!! My weight effects me too much for me to mess about, tonight for example I have been invited out but I don't want to go and feel fat around all the lovely slim girls I will be surrounded by.
It's time to take life in a positive direction, and a lighter one!
Thursday, 1 October 2009
Almost Successful
Well I successfully managed to resist the choccie biccies at work today....but ate about a million sweets instead - definately not the most healthly option! Not sure what was up with me, I felt really tired and needed sugar and the liquorice allsorts just called my name. At least I haven't had cake, chocloate or biscuits!! So my month of sacrifice still stands.
I ache to be healthy, fit, slim and strong so I can't explain why I keep self sabotaging! If I keep having these 'last day to crap' days I'm going to be 200lb in no time. Then I definately will not leave the house. I know what I want, I know what I have to do to acheive it, so the only thing I can think that is holding me back is a fear of failing. Which is really ridiculous?! If I try and lose weight at an incredibly slow pace it will be a million times better than me not trying and gaining 1lb a day. Which I know I am fully capable of. I wish I had Jillian Micheals with me everyday to kick my butt!
She also has the body I would love to have. But that is going to take time to acheive!! I must try, try and try again.
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
Things not going according to plan.....
.....in fact they can't be going more wrong. Doughnuts are currently in complete control of my life!!! Nooooo!!! This is not good - I can feel my waist expanding everyday :( I said no more binges, but I have!! Quite bad ones. Why! Why! Why!
It's time to refocus. Collect myself mentally and physically. Time to decide what I want to achieve. I think if I write down my aims then that will make them more real and increase my motivation.
Ultimate goals:
It's time to refocus. Collect myself mentally and physically. Time to decide what I want to achieve. I think if I write down my aims then that will make them more real and increase my motivation.
Ultimate goals:
- reach goal weight - 9 st 4 lb
- reach body-fat of 20%
- complete a triathlon
- run a half marathon (Great North Run)
I think these will be plenty to be going on with. The reason I have a weight goal and a body fat goal is so I have another way of tracking my progress. If I reach 20% body fat (I can dream) before I get to my goal weight I won't stress so much about those last pounds. Of course inches is also another good way to track progress.
Even though I was not going to put pressure on myself to lose weight by a specific time, ideally I would like the majority of my lard to be blitzed by next summer, mainly because I hope to either go travelling or work as a courier/rep over summer. Neither of which I want to be fat for. Also, next October it is my best friends wedding, which I am Maid of Honour/Chief Bridesmaid - which ever you prefer, so I REALLY don't want to be fat for that!! I have to lose at least 6 inches on my waist for my dress to even fit - though I am hoping it will need to be taken in!! Again, I can dream and I shall because many who dare - win!
In order to fight this binge problem I have I am going choose not to eat chocolate, cakes and biscuits for ONE month. One month is nothing so I have no excuse not to be able to do - I do it every lent! For some reason I find that easier then any other time of the year. Strange. With that in mind I will not have a big binge today on the eve of yet another attempt at weight loss. Here we go! Again!
Saturday, 19 September 2009
One nil to the dumbells
It was a triumphant day for the dumbells!! Long let that continue. It is looking good, as I have just watched Strictly Come Dancing, whilst enjoying a 2 finger kit kat without wanting to eat the entire pack at the sight of all the beautiful dancers - I can't tell you the last time I actually had one biscuit or one chocolate bar without it resulting in a binge session. A positive day then!
I went to the gym around midday, which I always prefer on a Saturday because its nice and quiet, and I got the weight area all to myself :) This of course was the human weight area, not the super-human weight area which is located at the over end with no carpet. The noises that come from there sometimes sound how I imagine child birth might sound! I wonder how many of the men would claim to have an idea of how such an act would feel?? Though today I did see a woman go into the non-carpeted area and I thought - you go girl! Doing it for the rest of us! One aim I have is to have the strength and the confidence to enter the sacred area and use the squat cage. Aaah....dare to dream.
I stumbled across The Biggest Loser Australia on SkyRealLives today - an entire weeks worth!! I was in heaven! I wish I could go to a house, workout all day for about 3 months and return home a different person. Especially if I was in Australia! Plus I love Jillian Micheals, the way she just says it how it is. I'd love to be trained by her. I have followed her radio show for well over a year too, picking up all kinds of tips for optimum health (taken a while to put them into practice eh?) but now it has vanished!! She said she was taking a break from radio - then nothing.....boo. So I get my fix on SkyRealLives - they always play The Biggest Loser, Australia and USA - love it!
Anyway so thats about all I did today.
It was muesli for breakfast, turkey and wholemeal roll for lunch, and turkey and mushroom stir fry for tea. Snacks consisted of an apple and a Trek flapjack (if you haven't tried one, you must - yummy!) and for supper was a special k bar and a 2 finger kit kat, not the healthiest supper, but my calories for the day come in at 1402. Water totalled 2.5 litres.
I hope tomorrow I can report a similar story.
I went to the gym around midday, which I always prefer on a Saturday because its nice and quiet, and I got the weight area all to myself :) This of course was the human weight area, not the super-human weight area which is located at the over end with no carpet. The noises that come from there sometimes sound how I imagine child birth might sound! I wonder how many of the men would claim to have an idea of how such an act would feel?? Though today I did see a woman go into the non-carpeted area and I thought - you go girl! Doing it for the rest of us! One aim I have is to have the strength and the confidence to enter the sacred area and use the squat cage. Aaah....dare to dream.
I stumbled across The Biggest Loser Australia on SkyRealLives today - an entire weeks worth!! I was in heaven! I wish I could go to a house, workout all day for about 3 months and return home a different person. Especially if I was in Australia! Plus I love Jillian Micheals, the way she just says it how it is. I'd love to be trained by her. I have followed her radio show for well over a year too, picking up all kinds of tips for optimum health (taken a while to put them into practice eh?) but now it has vanished!! She said she was taking a break from radio - then nothing.....boo. So I get my fix on SkyRealLives - they always play The Biggest Loser, Australia and USA - love it!
Anyway so thats about all I did today.
It was muesli for breakfast, turkey and wholemeal roll for lunch, and turkey and mushroom stir fry for tea. Snacks consisted of an apple and a Trek flapjack (if you haven't tried one, you must - yummy!) and for supper was a special k bar and a 2 finger kit kat, not the healthiest supper, but my calories for the day come in at 1402. Water totalled 2.5 litres.
I hope tomorrow I can report a similar story.
Friday, 18 September 2009
It's now or never!
I have been in this position far too many times, I'm sure many can relate to. You aren't happy with yourself so you try to lose weight, you hit an obstacle, fall off the wagon, gain the weight back, then gain more because you feel like a failure. For me its a fairly regular thing...I am an expert when its comes to overeating. Sneaking food at work, getting through a big back of sweets on my 5 min drive home, even secretly eating entire packs of doughnuts whilst watching tv with my dad in the living room. If he notices, he doesn't say, which dissappoints me. This, of course, feels very shameful and is something I must overcome.
I sit here, writing this up, feeling rather excited about what I can acheive. If I focus. For once I have relieved myself of any pressure to lose weight quickly, as after having tried to rush the process for the past 20 months has resulted in me becoming fatter - not the desired outcome.
So I intend to just attend the gym 3 times a week doing my beloved weights (I do actually love weight training and dumbells hehe) along with cardio, which will include running, cycling etc and I must stick to my calorie allowance. My allowance will only be set to lose a pound a week, which sounds to me like it will take forever!! BUT! If I am consistent with a pound a week, whilst re-training my mind with a healthier lifestyle then it will still be quicker (and more permament) than my attempts over the last 20 months. So it's all good!
I'm going to weigh on tuesdays before I go to college. These next few months will be even more interesting with studying making diet control even more challenging! Bring it on!
I'm sure I will be letting off plenty of steam about all aspects of life in general in this blog to any lovely web people out there who stumble over my ramblings! Okay, I better get some sleep now, I anticipate tomorrow will be a productive day.
I sit here, writing this up, feeling rather excited about what I can acheive. If I focus. For once I have relieved myself of any pressure to lose weight quickly, as after having tried to rush the process for the past 20 months has resulted in me becoming fatter - not the desired outcome.
So I intend to just attend the gym 3 times a week doing my beloved weights (I do actually love weight training and dumbells hehe) along with cardio, which will include running, cycling etc and I must stick to my calorie allowance. My allowance will only be set to lose a pound a week, which sounds to me like it will take forever!! BUT! If I am consistent with a pound a week, whilst re-training my mind with a healthier lifestyle then it will still be quicker (and more permament) than my attempts over the last 20 months. So it's all good!
I'm going to weigh on tuesdays before I go to college. These next few months will be even more interesting with studying making diet control even more challenging! Bring it on!
I'm sure I will be letting off plenty of steam about all aspects of life in general in this blog to any lovely web people out there who stumble over my ramblings! Okay, I better get some sleep now, I anticipate tomorrow will be a productive day.
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